Lord’s Day, Vol. 4 No. 29

Forbearing and Forgiving One Another

Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

The ability to forgive others, the capacity to exercise tolerance and patience toward others who have done us wrong, the Apostle Paul tells us, must be the trait of a true Christian.

The reality in today’s sin-stricken world is that people seek vengeance, retaliation, as an expression of the right to personal freedom, as a show of backbone and strength. Human wrath seems to be the way to resolve conflicts. Might is right. This is so evident in the international realm, in the national realm, in the home.

Somehow, there is that uncontrollable rage that cannot be stopped, that will break loose when provoked. We see in the lives of many “walking wounded”, suffering from guilt, depression, anger, and many emotionally destructive behaviour. Lives ruined. Men and women living wretched lives because they carry the burden of an unforgiving spirit.

The Christian life is different. It is a Spirit-filled life, a life controlled by the Holy Spirit, a joyous life that overcomes the ravages of sin. Such a life, the Apostle Paul recommends that we spend time to cultivate, in particular, to cultivate a forgiving spirit.

(1) Forbear and Forgive – Who?

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any…

Repeated twice is the object of Christian forbearance and forgiveness. “To forbear” is to exercise self-restraint and tolerance, endure patiently, put up or bear with. “To forgive” is to pardon.

We are to forgive one another – our family members, friends, classmates, colleagues, fellow members of God’s family, anyone who have offended us.

Forgiveness is not that stripe which says, “I will forgive, but not forget.” It is not to bury the hatchet with the handle sticking out of the ground, so you can grasp it the minute you want it. (DL Moody)

Our Lord affirms in Matthew 6:14,15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

In the fifth petition, we pray that God, for Christ’s sake, would freely pardon all our sins, which we are the rather encouraged to ask because by His grace we are enabled from the heart to forgive others. (Shorter Catechism)

1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

In prayer, the believer in self-examination confesses his sins before God, seeking for forgiveness. The promise is that God will certainly forgive the repentant.

Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God’s peace abides with the believer who draws close to God through self-examination and confession of sins.

If any has a cause for grievance, complaint, reproach, blame, we are to exercise the Christian virtue of forbearance and forgiveness.

(2) Why Forbear and Forgive? (v13b)

…even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

When we are at the receiving end of mercy, we would surely say forgiveness is the greatest virtue. But if one is the aggrieved party, the one being hurt, then forgiveness seems often to be a gross violation of justice. Yet, both mercy and justice are God’s attributes.

When we sin, God does not simply ignore our sins. The Bible tells us so clearly that God is not mocked, we reap what we sow (Galatian 6:7). The relationship between God and the sinner is one of enmity (Romans 5:10). God hates sin and will deal with us after our sins.

God is also holy, and righteous. His justice must be satisfied by the punishment of every violation of His law. And the penalty for our sin is eternal damnation. Mankind in his fallen state is in a sorry state. But the Bible also tells us that God does justify the ungodly (Romans 4:5).

How can God grant such forgiveness without compromising His own standard of justice? The answer is that God Himself made His Son, Jesus Christ, to bear all our sins. Because we have been forgiven fully by what Christ has done for us, He has also given us this ministry of reconciliation that we who have experienced undeserved forgiveness, may likewise do to others.¹

Amen.

Yours lovingly,

Pastor Lek Aik Wee

¹ John Mac Arthur, The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness, ebook, Logos Bible, 13-14, 97.