15. Talking of Loneliness and Companionship

Hymns: 261 Blest Be the Tie that Binds 115 Constantly Abiding 116 Higher Ground

Study of the Book of Ecclesiastes

(Remember Now Thy Creator)

– Talking of Loneliness and Companionship

Ecclesiastes 4:7-12

7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun. 8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail. 9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

 

OUTLINE

• The Depressed Loner (v7-8)
• The Blessing of Companionship (v9-12)

 

INTRODUCTION

The Bible is filled with verses that encouraged the believer that he is not alone in the challenges of life. God is with him. He is there to help him. He will not forsake Him.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Psalm 25:16 Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.

Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Romans 8:31-38 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth. 34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come.

 One man with God is blessedness.

Consider the Chinese character for blessedness pronounced “Fu”.

If you dissect the left radical it is the shortened form of the radical for “God”, given below.

The right radical of “fu” begins with “one”

The radical for “mouth” signifying a “man”

The radical for “farm” signifying the “garden”

When a man is in close connection with His Creator God, this is true blessedness, He is the true Source of our blessedness. The more we know God, the more we know ourselves for we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). The more we know God Almighty, the more we are awe-struck and humbled by God’s condescension upon us to be an unfailing companion to us.

Solomon tells us that the man without God is very lonely. This loneliness is compounded when he is without human companionship. When

In verse 18 of Genesis 2, God said, “it is not good for man to be alone” It is not good that the man should be alone. God said, “I will make him an help meet for him.”

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

This negative “not” stated a matter of fact. It is truly not good that the man should be by himself. It begs the question, what are the reasons why?

For one, it seemed he would not fully experience God in a deeper and more meaningful way without interaction with another human being. He needed a companion to interact, one of same level of intellect, emotions and moral consciousness as God had designed him. So as to fulfill his God-given function to glory God and enjoy Him forever! Man cannot fully interact with other lower life form.

By intellect, man can appreciate the beauty of God’s creation that the animals cannot reach. And by his emotions, man is able to experience the heights of love, joy and peace that the animals cannot do.

This is because man reflected God’s image. And in the Godhead, there is also a Tri-unity – The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, a like-minded fellowship, whose bonds cannot be broken and have no beginning and ending. The interaction of the Triune God brought forth the created world and sustains it.

And so, a man existing alone, without companionship, will not fully appreciate and glorify His Creator as he would be when he has a companion and to express his thought as when he is in a community. He needed a like-minded companion to share his joy of glorying his Creator.

And God giving to Adam, his wife, Eve, was more importantly for the purpose of procreation, that man as a human race, a collection of families, could collectively experience God and glorify Him.

Just like the church choir presenting an item of praise. The choir consisted of individual voices but they blend together to give a collective voice that a single voice cannot achieve. And each chorister focusing on his or her individual part will produce a collective harmony to the presentation.

Every man’s articulate his appreciation of God and His creation differently because of his unique experience. He sees a certain aspect of God’s glory that others perhaps do not see. He appreciates God from his angle because of his own experience with God. We see that blend in the choir of human life and experiences, especially among the redeemed.

If we look at the marriage relationship, it is good only on earth. The marriage relationship ceases when we can to heaven. But our relationship with our God is eternal. And so, marriage is for a greater purpose of procreation. That man, as a race, may glorify his Creator. This is exactly how worship is like in heaven.

This is perhaps why God said it is not good for the man to be alone. So in Genesis 2, God zoom-in on the conditions of created earth and focusing on man and his life-partner – God Himself, was the first marriage counselor, the first marriage solemnizer, preaching the first marriage sermon.

Solomon observes for us the misery of a man alone under the sun. He is without God. He is truly alone (v7-8) and the remedy or blessing of having companions (v9-12).

• The Depressed Loner (v7-8)
• The Blessing of Companionship (v9-12)

(1) The Depressed Loner (v7-8)

7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun. 8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.

Solomon pictures for us this lone man. He has not siblings nor has he any children. He is portrayed as one labouring alone miserably because he sees the meaningless labour that he is engaged to. He sees that there is none to bequeath his estate after he dies, who will benefit from his labour. He plods on accumulating wealth motivated by greed. He tells us, by his observation, that this is a very miserable life. Solomon comments on such a miserable life of accumulating things of this life and not rich toward God.

Ecclesiastes 5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.

Our Lord Jesus described the misery and futility of such a life without God when he told the story of this certain rich man: Luke 12:16-21 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: 17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? 18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. 20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? 21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

It reminds us of one who seeks to climb the corporate ladder. The higher he climbs, the lonelier he gets. He may have a family. But he neglects his family as he plods on to get ahead. He was not there when his son took his first step. He is not there when he utters his first word. He is not there when he receives his first certificate at the kindergarten graduation. He was busy building his career. Nothing will stop him, no one who caused him to deviate from his objective.

He became successful. He made a name for himself. He has wealth on his side. But his son has gone delinquent. His wife has given up trying to coax him to spend time with his family. He did not cherish his family ties. The family fell apart. His wife left him and his son turned to evil company.

This is not a far-fetched story. In fact, quite a true reflection of man’s life under the sun misguided by his own fallenness.

One late pastor observed, “In every phase of life today whether it is religious, business, social, political, educational it is rush, rush, rush, rush. And there is very little time left for home life. We are living in a rush age, a nervous age. Especially with the globalization of business, working parents take turn to travel out of the country. A crying child asked, mummy or daddy, please don’t go? I’ll call you every night. I’ll be back in 10 days time! This cycle goes on…

It is difficult for anyone to stop and be quiet. The materialistic world is taking a hold of our life, China is expanding, the Middle East is expanding, we must have a bite of the pie and so we go. Nearer home, this is what we see, after the day’s work is done, instead of the family going home, it is going here, going there, the children are here and there but at home. The mother is out, the father is out, and the child is with the maid or the grandfather or grandmother. Each arriving at a different hour of the night! It seemed that we cannot get still.

We can’t stop. Even in the religious sphere, churches have different types of meetings organized meetings every night, which cause our people away from the home, we see our churches has caught the fever of the world with its never ceasing activity. What is our home life?””

He retorted, “Fathers are not willing to stop to build the home, running here and running there. STOP! STOP! WE have not let ourselves get quiet and become silent before the Lord, where we can think and meditate and listen to the voice of God through His Word by His Spirit.”

May the Lord help us to pray saying, “Lord, help us to say as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Help us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, we know Lord we cannot serve God and mammon. Help us as husbands to love our wives, and the wives to love their husbands, help us to be kind one to another in our family, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ sake has forgiven us. Oh Lord, our sufficiency is of thee, help us to depend on thee to build and defend our homes against the ungodly influences of the world, its temptations, its values, its pleasures, its practises and relationships. Help us to live a separated life though in the world yet not of the world. Hear our prayer Lord, in Jesus name. Amen.”

(2) The Blessing of Companionship (v10-12)

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Solomon brings us the blessing of companionship. Two are better than one. When you have a working companion, one that is by you to help you, your success rate improves dramatically. Two minds are better than one. For one, there is someone to share the success. If there are difficulties and challenges that come along the way, there is mutual encouragement, in problem-solving, in motivation, mutual support. It is true that when two pie together, they can keep each other warm. If there are oppressions that come, they stand in support one for the other.

The husband-wife relationship provides such an apt illustration. And the coming of children does strengthen the family especially for the parents in their old age, there will be the children to fend for them.

Psalm 127:1-5 A Song of degrees for Solomon. Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. 3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Charles Bridge said well, “Oh! Let us ponder the deep responsibility of our social obligation. Are we discharging them as unto the Lord – for the honour of His name, and for the edifying and increase of His Church? Did we but pray for each other as we ought, what a brotherhood would the family of man be! The time is short. Opportunities are passing away. Happy those, who have been fellow-helpers on earth! They shall rejoice before their gracious Lord with joy unspeakable – uninterrupted – without abatement – without end.”[1]

The Lord Jesus instituted the beginning of the local church as a fulfillment of man’s need upon earth through Christian love. And he gives us family that we may find comfort and support through blood ties.

CONCLUSION

May we cherish the blessing of church and family life for His honour and glory. Amen.

 

 

 

[1] Charles Bridges, Ecclesiastes, Banner of Truth Trust, 1992, 92.