Proverbs 15:1, Words that Heal or Hurt

September 6, Proverbs 15:1

Mk. 3:5; Phil. 2:1-5 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind” (1 Co. 13:4)

Words that Heal or Hurt

Proverbs 15:1, 2, 4 all deal with good and bad use of words. Proverb 15:11 is well known because often quoted. If this writer had more often heeded its advice many heartaches might never have been!

Self-Control is not Self-Love. We are obviously dealing with sinful anger here. “Self-love ties a bandage over the eyes of the understanding, and then leads the blind astray. If our love were like Christ’s, our anger would be like His too” (Arnot). That is well put, isn’t it? One writer likened Words to the minute hand of the soul, thus more important than even the hour hand of action. Words too often exercise control over reason! Joseph Parker observed that “the soft answer may appear to be spiritless, but in reality it expresses a greater energy than is possible to ill-regulated and resentful wrath.”

1. The Soft Answer: How many arguments are stirred or calmed by the answer given? This word is also translated tender (4:3; 1 Chr. 22:5), delicate. So you have an enemy who is speaking against you! No one likes to be in that position. How do you, or rather, how should you respond? Our proverb says this anger may be turned away. How? Give an answer that is gentle, free from any rage, and quiet in tone, on your part. When the danger of a forest fire is present, it is criminal to throw a lighted match on the forest floor. It is the same in the face of anger, except that it can lead to much more pitiful results. How tragic to see strife among very brethren! A soft answer is likened to a “lightning rod” that takes the flash of anger and buries it harmlessly in the ground. The soft answer allows for time to hear the matter out. It defuses tempers, and gives them time to cool! It often results in a time of reconciliation. Happy result, indeed! Is this easy to do? No, but neither is taking up your cross and following Christ. Our blessed Lord, when He was reviled, reviled not again (1 Pet. 2:23). Will you not follow His example?

2. The Hard Response: But grievous words stir up anger. One painful word leads to others! Our Lord’s words apply here. Be not overcome of evil. Don’t respond in kind! Anger begets anger, and the result is that things go from bad to worse, and usually in a hurry. “Speak fitly, and then you may speak freely,” is good advice. Grievous words are words that cause pain (so Heb.). They are words that hurt, but they hurt the one hurling them most of all. At the root of these angry responses is self-justification or self-love. “Rather than lose a jest, some will lose a friend and make an enemy” (Henry). This is only another way of spelling pride! Is it not so that the strongest argument against the Bible is a bad life? The true believer died with Christ, so the self-pride, that prompts the grievous word, was also put to death, was it not? An unnamed writer said, “Life offers only two alternatives, either crucifixion with Christ or self-destruction without Him.”

Thought: “The teeth cannot get at the heart, but the tongue can” (CHS).

Prayer: Let us pray that we may drink more deeply of Christ’s Spirit.