8. Who Is a Friend?

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Hymns: RHC 109 Jesus Is All the World to Me; 116 Higher Ground; 358 What a Friend We Have In Jesus

Job 2:11-13

 11Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. 12And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. 13So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. (Job 2:11-13 KJV)

Who Is a Friend?

OUTLINE

(1) Together Mourn and Comfort (v11)

(2) Together Weep and be Silent (v12-13)

 

INTRODUCTION

It is easy to live life with God when you are bestowed with everything in life, having every reason to feel secure. It is another thing to when these “comforts” are taken away and life bares before us its harsh side. Does it mean God has forsaken us? Easy to conclude that way. As we look at Job’s life and the trauma that has befallen him as he sits there helpless, destitute and vulnerable, alone! Imagine, God’s perfect man’s predicament, makes us sit straight and take a hard look at life. Today, we shall begin to look at the impact on friends upon a suffering saint.

When we are without friends, life can indeed be very lonely. Friendship played a significant part in the lives of men of God.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Literal translation: All the time loving the friend, and a brother for distress is born.

Observe firstly the emphasis of the author is the phrases placed at the beginning of the sentence “all the time” and “a brother”. A true friend is characterized as one who loves all the time, not sometime or most times but every time. Such a friend is called a brother this is the term of endearment used. He is seen during the time of adversity to render useful help.

A friend, a sincere and hearty friend, loves at all times, not only in prosperity but also in adversity, when false friends forsake us. A brother, who is so not only by name and blood but by brotherly affection, is born for adversity; was sent into the world for this among other ends, that he might comfort and relieve his brother in his adversity. So, this proverb compares a friend with a brother and shows that a friend does that freely, and by choice, which a brother does by the force and obligations of nature. So, the sense is, He is a friend at all times, but in adversity he is more than all ordinary friend, even a brother. (Bridges)

Moses had both Aaron and Joshua to support him, Daniel had his three friends who together stood as God’s witness in idolatrous Babylon. David had many loyal friends, especially in Jonathan. Our Lord Jesus enjoyed companionship and support from a dedicated group of His disciples, especially Peter, James and John who formed His inner circle. The Apostle had many intimate friends who co-laboured with him in the ministry – Timothy, Luke and others.

“Hudson Taylor had reached a crossroads. Actually, it was more like a dead end. He was only twenty-three years old and for less than two years he had been working as a missionary in China. But that time had been marked by a growing disillusionment with his missionary society, which had failed to keep its promises of support, and by discouragement caused by criticism from established missionaries of Taylor’s unorthodox methods. But the two crushing blows came in the form of a letter from his girl in England “fearing that she did not love him,” and an order from the British consul to stop his missionary work in a non-treaty town. “My dear mother,” he wrote, “my heart is sad, sad, sad. I do not know what to do.”

At that stage, God graciously gave Hudson Taylor a friend, a godly Scottish missionary about twenty years his senior, named William Burns. Burns sensed in Taylor a young man with a kindred spirit and a need for a friend. He encouraged Taylor to rest in the Lord and to trust in His goodness, guidance, and resources. For seven months they travelled, preached, and prayed together, and those months left an indelible mark on Hudson Taylor. As Taylor’s son and daughter-in-law described it, “The friendship of this man was the gift of God to Hudson Taylor at this particular juncture…Such a friendship is one of the crowning blessings of life.”[1]

Gary Inrig commented on the friendship of Hudson Taylor and William Burns in his book “Quality Friendship”, “Humanly speaking, the ministry of Hudson Taylor would never have had its impact without the friendship of William Burns. He was not the only reason that Taylor became a man of God, but he was an indispensable factor. Apart from a Jonathan, there would not have been a David, in the full maturity of his character. We need godly friendships if we are to become the people God wants us to be. In the Christian life, there are no Lone Rangers. We need people. As Solomon reminds us” in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”[2]

In the moment of Job’s deepest despair, three friends came to visit him – they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. (Job 2:11b.) They wept and were silent before him.

(1)  Together Mourn and Comfort (v11)

(2)  Together Weep and be Silent (v12-13)

(1)  Together Mourn and Comfort (v11)

11Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. 

The friends of Job came without an invitation. They heard of the evil that has happened to Job and they separately made their way but came together they came to visit Job. Thank God for friends who care enough to take the trouble to visit a friend in distress.

Jesus describes who is a true friend when He said in Matthew 25:35 “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:” As the old say goes, “A Friend – the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”

Apostle Paul in his missionary work made many true friends whom he commended.

Romans 16:3-4 “Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus: Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.”

Philippians 2:19-25 “But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheus shortly unto you, that I also may be of good comfort, when I know your state. For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s. But ye know the proof of him, that, as a son with the father, he hath served with me in the gospel. Him therefore I hope to send presently, so soon as I shall see how it will go with me. But I trust in the Lord that I also myself shall come shortly. Yet I supposed it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, and companion in labour, and fellowsoldier, but your messenger, and he that ministered to my wants.”

Spurgeon said “Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend.”

True Friends love to each other at all times. Be caring and look out for one another especially in affliction.

Charles Bridges commenting on Proverbs 17:17 said well, “A brother is bornto succour/relieve/help a brother or sister in distress. He may the more sensibly feel from their burdens, and be the more strongly inclined and engaged, as it were by instinct, to help them. We must often consider what we were born for,not only as men, but as in such a station and relation. Who knows but we cameinto such a family for such a time as this?A friend that loves at all times is born(that is, becomes) a brother in adversity,and is so to be valued.Therefore, go slowly to the entertainment of thy friends, but quickly to their misfortunes.” (Bridges)

All seemed well for Job to have three friends who cared enough to visit him during his moment of greatest distress.

(2)  Together Weep and Be Silent (v12-13)

 12And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. 13So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

Job’s friends could not recognize him. They continued their friendship with Job in his adversity, when most of his friends had forsaken him.

Job 19:14 My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.

These three friends were silent. They rent their clothes and put dust upon their head. Why were they silent? The reason of this silence was, partly the greatness of their grief for him, and their surprise and astonishment at his condition; partly, because they thought it convenient to give him some further time to vent his own sorrows; and partly, because as yet they knew not what to say to him: for though they had ever esteemed him to be a truly wise and godly man, and came with full purpose to comfort him; yet the prodigious greatness of his miseries, and that hand and displeasure of God which they manifestly perceived in them, made them at a stand, and to question Job’s sincerity; so that they could not comfort him as they had intended, and yet were loth to grieve him with those convictions and reproofs which they thought he greatly needed. And here they stuck till Job gave them occasion to speak their minds. [Poole]

When Job’s friends did not open their mouth but were there to lend a listening ear, they were a comfort to him. However, when they started judging him that was when they caused him untold distress.

Job 6:14-15 “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty. My brethren have dealt deceitfully as a brook, and as the stream of brooks they pass away.”

Job 16:2 “I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all.”

Job 16:20 “My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.”

But if the friendship is prudent, generous, and cordial, if I love my friend because he is wise, and virtuous, and good, as long as he continues so, though he falls into poverty and disgrace, still I shall love him. [unknown author]

Christ is a friend that loves at all time – John 13:1 “Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” What a Friend we have in Jesus.

We shall be studying the conversations of Job’s three friends that added so much misery to his affliction.

Job’s Perplexity (Job 3)

Job’s Defence – First Round (Job 4-10)

Job’s Defence – First Round (Job 11-14)

Job’s Defence – Second Round (Job 15-17)

Job’s Defence – Second Round (Job 18-21)

Job’s Defence – Third Round (Job 22-24)

Job’s Defence – Third Round (Job 25-31)

Job’s Defence – Third Round (Job 31-37)

CONCLUSION

May the Lord help us to be true comforters for His Name’s sake to the afflicted. Amen.

[1]Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor, Biography of James Hudson Taylor (London: Holder & Stoughton, 1965), p. 161.

[2]Gary Inrig, Quality Friendship – The Risks and Rewards, Moody Press Chicago, 1981, 45.