Lord’s Day, Vol. 11 No. 20
Take Care of Your Parents
Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
It is man’s duty to honour and give thanks to their parents by giving to them a portion of their material substance for they are the representatives of God on earth. It is through them that we receive life. Especially when our parents are old and retired, it is indeed our privilege to care for them by providing for them.
The Lord brought me to visit a home for the destitute. There, I met with an elderly gentleman undergoing a state of depression. He shared that his four children had abandoned him. He had sacrificially supported all four of them through tertiary education in the United States. His eldest son has a PhD with double first honours. The irony is that they have now refused their responsibility to care for their aged father in old age. Several months ago, he attempted to kill himself from the 7th floor of a building. A Christian lady stopped him in time and dissuaded him. As I look around the home, as I saw the many elderly who have been abandoned by their loved ones, I saw the harsh reality of ingratitude in the heart of children who abandoned their elderly parents.
The Bible gave grave warnings to ungrateful children in Proverbs 20:20 “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.” Whatever favour he has enjoyed from the LORD will be taken away from him.
The fifth commandment was written to specifically address children to care for their parents in their old age.
Deuteronomy 5:16 says, “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee.”
This is the only commandment with a promise of reward and we realize that the substance of this command is also given in the opposite form in Exodus 21:17, “He that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”
And again in Leviticus 20:9 “Every one that curseth his father or mother; his blood shall be upon him.” Our Lord Jesus unites these two forms of the commandment when he explains it and rebukes the glosses of the scribes and Pharisees in Matthew 15:4-6, “For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.”
It is also reminded of us by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:2-3, “Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
This commandment tells us of the duties of children to parents, and the duties of the younger generation to respect and care in practical ways for the elderly and aged parents amongst us. We must realize that the duty of children to parents is sincere, strong and unwavering love.
We remember how Joseph did care for his venerable parent Jacob when he did arrive in Goshen in Genesis 46:29 “And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.” What a beautiful picture of filial love. What a testimony of reverence with which Joseph treated Jacob. Joseph was then the second most powerful man on earth after Pharaoh and yet he approached his father by bowing himself with his face to the earth.” In a sense, when we acknowledged our parents, we are acknowledging our God who gave us our parents. It pleases Him. [William S. Plumer, Law of God, Sprinkle Publications, 1996, 365, Edited]
This commandment gives to us the duty of children to contribute as circumstances demand, and as their parents require, to their temporal support and comfort. As the Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 5:4 “But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.” The work of providing care to our elderly often can be demanding on time, energy and resources. But let us be encouraged to persevere with this good work that God has entrusted to us. After all, our parents have cared for us for the better part of our early life. As we recall the amount of effort needed to care for a new born child is no less demanding than caring for a sickly elderly person. It is time to repay our earthly debt. If it had not been for their love for us, we would not be what we are today.
Besides, the fifth commandment comes with a promise. This is the only commandment given with a promise. What is the promise, “that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Also, in Deuteronomy 5:6, it says, “that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” The rendering there tells us that the commandment rightly observed will prolong the days of dutiful children. Their prayers and protection, for example, be the means of lengthening their lives. “By their prayers made for thee, and by their blessing in thy name conferred upon thee and so it may prolong your days.” [William S. Plumer, Law of God, Sprinkle Publications, 1996, 369]
Oftentimes, caring for elderly folks requires much patience on the part of the younger. As the younger person adjusts to the slow pace of the elderly, he is able to cultivate this virtue, this fruit of the spirit called long-suffering. At times, the elderly can be grouchy and difficult, perhaps in times of sickness. It is at this time that the younger caregiver can pray and encourage the elderly with God’s Words of Comfort to strengthen their faith. Hymns and choruses can be very appropriate to calm and strengthen the faith of the elderly. One such chorus is “God will take care of you” – God will take care of you, through every day, over all the way, He will take care of you, God will take care of you.” Another one is “Keep on Believing”, “Believing on believing, Jesus is near, keep on believing, there’s nothing to fear, keep on believing, this is the way, faith in the night as well as the day.” Especially when the elderly is in hospital, these songs of Zion comfort and strengthen the heart.
The elderly often felt themselves useless in their old age when they consider their relative physical limitations. This need not be so. The elderly have a ministry of prayer to intercede at the throne of grace for the needs of their children. They should be encouraged. Children are encouraged to give their prayer requests to the elderly and seek God’s blessing on their behalf. The elderly Christian is encouraged to be involved in a bible study group to nourish their spiritual life. Through Christian fellowship in prayer and God’s Word, the elderly is strengthened in the inner man though the outer man becomes weaker by the day.
For the caregiver to the elderly remember that God has commanded you to do this good work of caring for them. May the Lord bless you richly as He promised in His Word as you faithfully discharge this duty! May God grant you his grace! There is a financial strain upon the family but it is well pleasing in God’s sight.
You may now be going through the physical and financial toil of caring for your aged parents or other elderly relatives. This is a most honourable work that God has entrusted to you. He will certainly grant you the strength to fulfil this good work. Persevere on, the Lord bless you richly. God instructs us to provide for the needs of our family, especially to honour our parents. Amen.
Yours lovingly,
Pastor Lek Aik Wee